Christmas 2014

It's my favourite time of the year again, as well as many others' favourite.

Last year, at this time, things were really different. I was excited to have someone to spend Christmas with for the first time (although not physically). And I actually had plans and cards and etc. 

This Christmas however, everything went back to how it was like the year before. We're all gathered at the family home in the spirit of Christmas. The older generations asking us where's our partners etc. 

I couldn't help but think of him. I mean I was really excited and happy last year. Although for the past 2.5 months we haven't been talking much and had decided to part ways amicably but some things happened. We agreed that we're still friends. So this holiday season I thought about him, wondering how is he. Celebrating with friends with champagne or just a simple meal. Nothing much but just a thought. 

The year is coming to an end. And I am really trying to make my life turn around, do what I can in my capacity to make things better, salvage friendships. 

I know there are things that are really quite impossible to forget but it is possible to quell feelings for such events. 2015 would be a rather happening year if things go as planned. In which I really hope so. Cross my heart and pray to God. 

Whoever is reading this, I wish you success in the coming year and may you set out to achieve whatever that you are made to do. 

Blessed Christmas. X 

December.

December has always been the month I look forward to the most. It is the month where the year finally comes to an end, and the month where it's time to tie up loose ends and make amends, a month that has the best holiday season - CHRISTMAS.

I've been picking myself up over the past two months, trying to focus in school, saving up for exchange. But I realised that I actually don't have people that I can talk to whenever the need arises. I used to have, but now I don't. I have essentially little to no new friends in school that I can hang out with. I find it hard to fit it, I find that I've somehow lost myself along the way. 

Although I've learnt a great deal and changed a lot. and am now trying to focus on exams and getting a substantial job. I feel like there's something missing. Which I don't know what. On good days, such things don't cross my mind. But on other days, it does. 

But well they say you live your life mostly alone, and when you die, you die alone too. I just hope that this 'rough patch' will become a smoother one. And I'm still praying for better days and better outcomes. X